In all the time I tried to get my kids to understand the importance of these traits, I never realized that I don't really exercise my right to display these traits as they have become a part of my personal philosophy. Odds are, I'm probably not as good at it as I'd like to be, but hopefully, I'll get there. And to do so, let's start here:
So, over time, I'm sure I'll get into what I think has brought me to this place that I've been for the past couple years, but suffice it to say for now, it's been a pretty hard place surrounded by a lot of rocks. So, I pulled out Battle Studies the other day because I was, ironically, tired of listening to audiobooks in the car. I came across "War of My Life" and instantly felt like this was my current anthem:
Yes, it's dark. I've been in a dark place for a while: there's no light when you're surrounded by rocks. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a very optimistic person and there isn't a whole lot that can get me down. I've been down for a long time and I think that's why I'm so drawn to the message of this song. He's so beaten down that he realizes there is nothing left except to continue fighting. As morbid as the second verse is, it is really how I've felt at times in the past year, though not as literally- if there were any other way out besides fighting, I'd take it, but I "got no pills." (No, I have not thought about, nor will I think about, that option)
At the end of the day, all the rocks and all the darkness and all the tired and all the hurt...it just doesn't matter. It is what it is and I'm not scared of it. I'm going to fight because it's what I do, it's what I have to do. And I'll fight because I am ready. If I've learned anything in my life, it's that I can handle it- whatever it is, it won't be something I can't lick. As much as I wish this place wasn't a reality for anyone, myself included, fact is, I've been there and I'm ready to fight my way out. Choices or not, I'm ready, so bring it on.