Describe a significant experience that has happened in the past year. How did it affect you? Are you grateful? Relieved? Resentful? Inspired?
I lost the love of my life after five years. He was my best friend and we had an amazing relationship. One day, he just looked at me and said he didn't love me the way he thought he was supposed to. I asked him to leave and when the door was shut, I exhaled. I exhaled five years of friendship, love, laughter, confusion, anger, frustration; and I realized in that moment, maybe I didn't love him like I was supposed to either. I woke up the next morning quite relieved. Since then, I've been lonely at times, but overwhelmingly grateful for the experience of loving so deeply and knowing that losing that deep love didn't kill me - understanding that it's better to have loved and lost than never loved at all is quite true.
Is there something that you wish you had done differently this past year? Alternatively, is there something you're especially proud of from this past year?
I wish I had refrained from getting so involved at my job. It led to nothing but stress, weight-gain and extreme frustration and difficulty. To boot, I lost the one thing I loved doing more than anything - my leadership class.
I'm proud of getting so involved at my job. I stood up for others and I worked hard to make my work a better place to be, both for the teachers and the students. While I wish I hadn't done it, since it's done, I'm glad I did.
Think about a major milestone that happened with your family this past year. How has this affected you?
My nephew graduated from boot camp. It's been a bittersweet experience. I'm so very proud of him for taking on the responsibility of "growing up," but I'm also quite anxious as he has chosen a job that puts him on the front lines of battle, should he be sent to a warzone.
Describe an event in the world that has impacted you this year. How? Why?
The political situation surrounding the building of the Ground Zero Mosque and subsequent backlash from that (i.e. the "pastor" in Florida planning a Q'uran burning) has been quite frustrating as a follower of Christ. While I don't agree with the establishment of the Mosque at Ground Zero, it's more out of sensitivity for the New Yorkers who do not wish to have it in that place, not out of disrespect for religious freedom.
In that same vein, I am extremely upset at the man in Florida who wishes to display his religious superiority by burning the text of another religion. Whether I believe they are following truth or not is not the issue. What IS the issue is that we were all created with the freedom and liberty (especially in America) to follow the path we choose. It's what makes us different from every other being in the universe. The fact that this man is choosing to disrespect another human by destroying that which is held dear is the lowest form of humanity on display.
Have you had any particularly spiritual experiences this past year? How has this experience affected you? "Spiritual" can be broadly defined to include secular spiritual experiences: artistic, cultural, and so forth.
The first time I saw the World of Color show at Disneyland was an incredibly moving experience for me. It wasn't the show itself, but rather the idea of all the creativity and teamwork that was behind it. Coming off of a work year in which everyone isolated themselves and those who dared to step out were quickly put back down, it was a deeply spiritual experience for me to walk into another world where creativity, fun and exploration are not only encouraged, but rewarded. The icing on that cake was the show itself - this amazing display of ingenuity, artistry and daring to try new things that haven't been done before - it truly was an experience that reminded me that there is amazing talent in the world and that it's okay to be one of those talented people.
Describe one thing you'd like to achieve by this time next year. Why is this important to you?
I'd like to be in a healthy, steady relationship with someone. In the past few years, I have discovered that I am a very good and capable love-r and I feel like I've accomplished the things I want to accomplish in my individual status (career, etc.). I'd like to really focus on my personal and love life and work toward building a future with someone.
How would you like to improve yourself and your life next year? Is there a piece of advice or counsel you received in the past year that could guide you in this project?
I would like to be as chilled out and un-stressed as I am now. After the previous year that I had, I feel I am incredibly deserving of this lifestyle. Additionally, I'd like to continue working on improving my physical health. I have found that this not only improves my health and appearance, but it does lend itself to the aforementioned stress-free life. :)
Is there something (a person, a cause, an idea) that you want to investigate more fully in 2011?
I really have absolutely no idea. I am more interested in looking back to see what I ended up investigating and discovering in 2011.
What is a fear that you have and how has it limited you? How do you plan on letting it go or overcoming it in the coming year?
I have a deep fear of failure. I mean a deep, deep fear of failure. I think there's this part of me that feels like there are certain aspects of my life which I have completely and utterly failed in, and therefore, I have this uncontrollable need to succeed at the other things I feel more confident about.
I have absolutely no idea how to completely overcome this other than to step back and look at those failures and trek after them one more time for a try of success. Additionally, I need to let go of some control issues I have around those areas of success that already exist. I need to loosen the reigns I have on those areas because they will continue to fly smoothly.
When September 2011 rolls around and you receive your answers to your 10Q questions, how do you think you'll feel? What do you think/hope might be different about your life and where you're at as a result of thinking about and answering these questions?
I hope that when I read these answers I will feel a sense of accomplishment - that I will have achieved certain goals that I've set for myself. I also hope that I am in a better place as a person. I hope that, when I read these answers next year, I will have grown.
What are your predictions for 2011?
In love, the world and I.
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