The Heart of Life

As I boarded my flight and made my way to the very back of the plane, there was this deep sense of apprehension...likely just my extreme fear of flying kicking in. There was also this deep sense of satisfaction. And a tiny little hole began to develop in my heart.

John Mayer is my all-time favorite musician and he just seems to always have the right words when I need them. You'll see me post his lyrics in here often, I'm sure. (Go back a couple entries, they're already there.) As we flew over the vast desert that was New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, somewhere between Austin and Los Angeles, Heart of Life started tinkling in my Skullcandy-filled ears:

I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears
And listen

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

You know, it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
Then, the circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
Fear is a friend who's misunderstood
But I know the heart of life is good
I know it's good

Pain's been holding my heart to the ground for a while now. And I know life doesn't always go the way it should. But I met a new circle of friends these last two weeks in Austin and they reminded me, in each of their precious and subtle ways, that there is always a silver lining. I've been saying that I am blessed and that I live a fortunate life, but these past two weeks touched me more than I could have ever told any of those people.

I caught glimpses of who people really are throughout my time in Austin, and from what I could tell by the time we finished, in each of our own ways, we needed saving: saving from toxic school environments, saving from end-of-year burnout, saving from uncertainty and anxiety, saving from fear of what lies ahead. These people saved me. They didn't know it, but they helped me realize that fear really is just a "friend who's misunderstood." I started to realize, as people were sharing their favorite moments from our time together, that we all, in our own ways, saved each other.

I mentioned that the hardest moment of all of this would be the morning after we all separate, and we wake up and realize that we're not going to meet each other for another long day of classes. I still believe that even after my plane has landed. My heart has a tiny little hole, and I believe that hole will probably grow just a little bit over the next few days, and maybe weeks. But, thanks to all of my ASNE friends, I'll always remember that whatever state my heart may be in, the heart of life is very, very good.